ToS spoofs
by Silbrail
Summary: Tos spoofs. You never know what's going to happen and who will be my victim 3


First english fic xP Don't shoot me please, I was out of ideas and bored and this spoof is the result. Hopefully, the next one(s) will be better.  
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Both Yuan and Kratos had set out camp, deciding they both needed some rest from the groups they had been with for quite some time now. With both Tethe'alla and Sylvarant saved and reunited, they could not see what would be bad about taking a little vacation away from the noisy city of Meltokio and smart ass students of the Sybak school.

Kratos peeked over his shoulder for the fourth time, wondering how long the half elf would stand there, staring Noishe staight in the eyes. They already had been looking at each other for what seemed to be an eternity now...

-Say, the blue haired renegade began, don't you think he might have gone dumb? He questioned, his gaze still locked into the animal's eyes.

The auburn haired man turned around completely to face his lover instead of the warm fire and looked at him questioningly.

-What do you mean by that?

-Well, I mean, your son isn't much of a genius. Don't you think it might have rubbed off on him a bit after seventeen years?

The human observed him attentively, nodding his head so he would continue.

All I've seen him do was run after his tail, run away from monsters, growl and whine if you threaten to give him no food. See, what intelligent animal still runs after its tail after four thousand years?

Kratos shrugged, not really understanding why he was binging that up in the first place.

-If my memory is still good and not playing me tricks, Noishe has always ran after his tail. It's not a habit he picked up from being around Lloyd. I guess he finds it amusing somehow. He explained, not daring to look away from the curious half-elf.

But... Maybe his IQ did drop a bit from being around him for a while. The seraphim added after a short silence.

Noishe seemed to glare but never turned his head away from the renegade standing barely a feet away from him,

- Just a bit? I'd say he's now dumb as a plant. Yuan retorted, finally growing tired of this little mindless game with a dog that he was sure understood nothing.

The 'dumb animal' suddenly moved, strangely deciding to take a bite out of the impertinent lavender winged seraphim.

Yuan shrieked and trashed at first, panicking at the thought of the ancient animal having his beautiful leg trapped between its jaws.

-Whaa! Get him off! Get him off! He squeaked, grabbing the sleeve of his lover who had came closer at the weird sight. The half-elf was so terrorized at the idea of having his limb literally ripped off that he did not even seem to notice how much he had just lost his cool by crying and holding on to his lover's sleeve like a frightened toddler.

-I suggest you calm down first... the human said, vainly trying to quiet down his lover.

Seeing the animal wasn't going to let go if he did nothing and that the poor renegade was more and more starting to shriek like a little girl, Kratos gave Noishe a light slap on the nose.

- He's not food, Noishe. You better let go if you don't wish for an indigestion.

Both the green and white animal and half-elf looked at him, the first slightly releasing his grasp on the other and the second now staring at him with hot cheeks that were wet from tears.

It only took a second for the animal to notice the silence. Because of this, his jaws squeezed the renegade's leg even more.

-Kratoooooooooooos. He half squeaked half hissed, not as girly acting as before but not perfectly still either. Blood trickled down his foot and on the ground, demonstrating that the wounds caused by Noishe's teeth were beginning to be deep.

This thing wasn't a dog! It was a blood thirsty monster!

Kratos sighed and thought quickly. Pulling his lover away would surely cut his leg open and his First Aid spell probably wouldn't be enough to heal a wound of such importance. In other words, doing so would perfectly ruin their little camping session...

A small light bulb lit up in his mind. The seraphim simply put his hand over Noishe's muzzle.

Yuan clearly doubted such a simple thing would get him out of this bad situation he had somehow ended up into, this until the first grip on his leg began to grow loose.

-How the h--? He was released before even finishing his sentence.

With nothing to hold on to, very bad balance and unable to stand only on his right leg, the blue haired man fell right into the other's arms.

-He couldn't breathe anymore so he had t or release and walk away or open his mouth to get some air. Either way was fine. The auburn haired human explained before Yuan cold even formulate his question. The man's smirk was enough to completely silence him. For a little moment, at least.

Kratos easily lifted the renegade from the ground, holding him bridal style in his arms.

Sadly, it only took a few seconds to be back to the campfire and Yuan cursed the fact that Noishe had not had the brilliant idea of pulling his away.

He was set down, but in Kratos' lap instead of on the cold ground. Not like he complained about it. The human cast a quick First Aid spell, easily healing the wound that barely let a mark.

-Better? He inquired, giving his lover a sensual glance.

-Yeah. Yuan responded, not without noticing the alteration in the other's voice.

A silence crept between the two, and it was up to the half-elf to break it.

-Know what?

-Hmm?

-I hate dogs.

Kratos laughed quietly.

-Only dogs? He wondered, giving the other a look he could not manage to decipher.

-All animals if you prefer... Yuan answered back, maybe a little too fast for him to be completely calm.

The other snickered.

-What's so funny about it? Yuan asked with a raised eyebrow and a little ticked off by his lover's behavior.

A short silence took place again before the human's voice broke it.

-I know one pet you like.

Yuan frowned, making Kratos smirk at his confusion.

The purple winged seraphim smirked, giving a good hint about what, or more likely _who_ this pet was. Some odd collar the half elf had not noticed before suddenly seemed to jump at his face. Especial a certain like medal that dangled from it with 'Kratos' carved in it.

Yuan caught the hint and smiled.

-Yeah, this one pet is my life-long favourite.

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Stay tuned and please review. Ideas and comments are loved D


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